I never thought I would face poverty, but here I am about to plunge into it.
How did this happen, you ask?
It all occurred after my husband kept falling and had to go to the hospital. There they found his fourth-stage lymph node cancer. When he would step on his right leg it would go numb, this made him fall. Never would you think this was causing his problem.
The cancer doctor gave him a chemo treatment, but he ended up in ICU twice with low blood pressure and she, the doctor, was afraid to give him any more since he was weak and at his age probably would not survive.
So he went into the nursing home for rehab. The hope was with a feeding tube (the hospital did not open tops of containers, etc. so he at least could try to eat) and receiving nourishment from the tube he could walk, etc. on that leg. However, he was unable to improve and I was left with only one option and that was hospice.
Why do you say: ONLY ONE OPTION?
Because the nursing home required $2,000 and something every 17 days for his rehab. I could see poverty at the end of this journey thus I opted for the hospice.
However, my prayer continues to be he would be healed and be able to come home. So far that has not happened. However, with food in his stomach, he is more alert and is even reading the newspaper again. That’s a good sign and the news once more by watching it on television as well.
Cancer, by the way, makes its victims have no appetite. This was why I was adamant about getting him nourishment.
We both miss each other terribly. You do that when you have been married to a wonderful husband and father of two handicapped children for 40 years. My husband also took in my two older sons to raise.
In addition, my husband did a lot of care for our oldest, non-verbal son which now has fallen to me. I am happy to take care of our eldest son. He fills my days with joy. Our youngest autistic son resides in a group home. I see him twice a week and talk to him daily.
But what is your dilemma, you ask?
The state has caused me an awful dilemma. I want my husband to be around as long as God allows him to live. However, each nursing home day is costly about $350 a day. Medicare pays for the hospice but not the nursing home care.
Bring him home and care for him there, you ask?
I wish I could, but with the cancer in his leg, he cannot walk. He can barely sit up on the edge of the bed. How could I manage him? Bathe him? Dress him? Clean him up after accidents, etc.? Especially in light of our oldest son who cannot feed, dress or bathe himself.
So I visit my husband daily and keep praying he can return home.
However, until God answers this prayer, I am stuck with a terrible dilemma. My finances will improve once he passes away, but now the Medicaid I applied for does not pay for ALL of his nursing room care.
My husband has a great retirement. He worked hard for it with hours upon hours of overtime and being with the post office for 43 years. This, though, will be of little benefit when OUR share of the Medicaid to pay the nursing home almost wipes out all of his retirement income. This income is our main source to pay bills, food and more.
Now I face poverty. I never thought I would ever be in such a predicament.
In addition, I had to cash out all our assets to apply for Medicaid. I was under the impression once we got his bank account down that Medicaid would pay for his nursing room care. I was mistaken. We have to pay a portion, and that leaves my oldest handicapped child and me with little to live upon.
What a dilemma. If my husband dies, WHICH I DON’T WANT TO HAPPEN, I am better off financially because my husband set up a financial plan for me after he passes away.
BUT I DON’T WANT HIM TO PASS AWAY. WHAT A MESS. I hope no one faces what I am going through. God bless.